shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
