trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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