omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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