Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
