I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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