If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
