Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
