Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
