what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
My dad just said "fuck circus"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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