that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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