I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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