Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
