Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
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I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
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Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks