Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He felt like a one man threesome
we're making bets on your personal life
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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