She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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