True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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