They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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