At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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