After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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