Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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