A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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