She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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