If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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