I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
