I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
