That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
