New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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