Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
