Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize