there's paper in my vomit.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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