who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
