I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
