But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Randomize
