OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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