brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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