Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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