Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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