i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
