I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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