lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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