i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
