I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
