We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
