so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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