im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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