why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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