All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
