They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
there's paper in my vomit.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
