Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
