The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
