Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
