this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
