...so i touched it.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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