R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
