Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize