So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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