Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
