If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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