I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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