If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
