we have pet lesbian snakes
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
