I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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