Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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