I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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