I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
