bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
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Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
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Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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